Little steps

I've been keeping busy lately, and forgetting to post. Sheesh, what's it going to take to keep my focused? hehe
Ok, so really I've been walking again lately. I thought starting small would be a good way to get myself back into exercise mode. I walked for 3 days straight, and on the third day actually spent some time in the pool for exercise. I took yesterday off, because I was sore. My sister got to go do some synchronized swimming, so of course she had to show me in our pool and have me try it with her. it was fun, but it made us sore. I forgot how nice it is to feel your muscles, I didn't even know I was missing that.

I still need to get out there and walk today, so I'm outta here for now.

Hurricane breeze

That hurricane breeze out there makes for nice walking weather. I took the kids out for a walk today after we picked Jordan up from school. Jax got a few more treasures for his treasure box, one of which was the biggest acorn I've ever seen...nearly the size of a golf ball.

See this... devil in a can, a plastic can. (seems even more devilish because of the environmental impact)

(truth is, this has been in the fridge for months and it's been that long since it was opened)

I'm tired, and have been sort of self destructing lately. Not in a real obvious way, but I've been snacking on junky foods instead of eating healthy meals, drinking sugary drinks instead of water... you get the idea. I just noticed this yesterday, and thought to myself "what the hell man? why are you doing this to your self? you know this is bad for you." All I can figure is that it's the inner fear of change that most of us have, even though change is exactly what I'm looking for. So I guess I'm fighting myself to fight myself. Sounds kind of stupid on paper.

fixing me

Ok, so here's the thing. I'm broken. I can't seem to consistently keep myself motivated. I'm going to jump out on a limb here and say it just might have something to do with the family heirloom of depression that I inherited. I've chosen to navigate through it for the last 15 years or so un-medicated, because the medication was far more disruptive and painful than the illness itself. In this struggle, I've had to teach myself to try to be happy every single day of my life. I've had to force myself to look at the bright side of things and not the assumptive bad side. It's been a good lesson, but I guess I was taking it for granted that I had it under control... because clearly I don't or I wouldn't be in such a slump right now.

The good news is that I think I am on my way up out of it finally... until it chooses to return, so I'm going to do my best to make the most of it. It's a tough battle, even when you know what to look for and how to find your way out. If you've never had to deal with it, you probably won't understand, but trust me in the fact that no one wants to feel this way. Stupid chemical imbalance. lol

I have to change my life, because this isn't working. I have to change a lot of things, but I'm going to start with organizing my life and making a schedule for myself to help keep me on track.

On a brighter note, I did get out and take the kids for a walk this afternoon. It was nice. A little hot, but there was a nice breeze and some smiles. Jax found a few more treasures for his treasure box... some green acorns and a handful of rocks. It really puts things into perspective when you see how excited a 4 yr old gets over one tiny little acorn.

So don't forget to notice the little things in your day, that most will overlook, and smile when you notice them. :o)

yes, I know

I've been here, been busy, been tired, been living... have not been posting. I have been getting some exercise in here and there. Three hours at a time in the pool a few days a week if I'm lucky. A tiny bit of walking. I am trying to get my energy back so I can get excited about it and do more, but it's just too freaking hot and humid most days. The heat may not be as bad as the humidity, which makes breathing a little painful when it's about to rain or is raining. I will keep going, but it's been a struggle lately.

Time keeps slipping away from me. It doesn't do me any favors, just keeps ticking by with or without me. I wish I could be like time and just keep going, no matter what.

Reliving my childhood...with my kids

We've been escaping the soupy heat here at our house by spending time in our 82 degree pool water. I can't lie, it's been fabulous! I know I've mentioned it before, but are  you really aware of how entertaining my sister can be? No, I didn't think so. You could really only know if you had grown up with her like I did.

Now, I did not know until recently that my sister has this odd affinity for synchronized swimming. (You know where this is going, right? lol) So yesterday, in the tradition of our childhood and living her dream, we tried it in our little pool. Angie, Jordan, and I all tried to do some things together (while treading water with our hands to hold us up) It was a huge giggle fest, especially after we all started taking turns making up new moves. We never really got back to the synchronized part, but it was very much like my childhood in the town pool with my sister back in the 80's. I even did my longest handstand (as an adult...in a shallow pool) this season. I hear the landing was quite nice. lol Jaxon even got in on it, though he didn't do to many moves on his own, doing most moves with one of the three of us.

(this photo is not from yesterday, it's from the beginning of summer. That kid on the right is my friend's son.)

We're an entertaining crew, and I'm sore all over today. :o)

Yay!

Hey there, it's your rebellious leader here. (like how I gave myself that title. lol) I have fabulous news and a blurry picture for you today! (p.s. my computer is pretending the blurry scales pic doesn't exist, so I'll have to leave you with the measuring tape pic instead.)

Drum roll please... (pretend this next part is the drum roll)
*****************************************************@

I lost another pound!  This gets me just beyond a barrier I haven't crossed in about 4 years! Which is why this one little pound means so much. Thanks for joining me for this joyous moment. Have a nice day. :oD

Could it be?

Could it be? Are my "everyday Monday's" turning into Tuesdays? Is that the light at the end of the tunnel I see? It would seem our "epidemic" is tapering off and could quite possibly be over, but I won't be convinced just yet. I need time to convince me it's over for good.

Exhaustion has taken me over, and I still managed to mow the yard Saturday. I wasn't good for much else the rest of the day though. I feel like I could sleep for a solid week, and just maybe then I would feel alive again. In the mean time, the laundering and head checks and dishes and life just go on and on and pull me along with them. Oh, and I have a few design jobs that I have to keep going on with also. When I hit the tail end of this thing, I'm going to spend an entire day doing absolutely nothing. :o)

Just in case you are like me and need the visual to make it believable... hehe..... here's is my Saturday picture.

What? It's Friday again? Already?

HA! All joking aside (not really), I've spent the last week in a blur of laundry and head checks and blah, blah, gross, blah, gross, blah, blah. I'm terribly sorry for all the yuck I have bestowed upon you lately. I could not help myself. Can you ever forgive me? (this is the part where I tip my head down and give you my best puppy dog eyes I can. Pouty lip and all)

So I think my blog is boring. I need it to be fun and interesting, if not for me, then for you. Any ideas? Anyone?..... huh, I seem to be all alone here........(looks around) in my room........ all by myself. Ok then. I've decided I need WAY more pictures and fun stuff and sillyness to go along with the basicness of my rebellion. I need it to be interesting, because if I'm losing interest, you surely are. I can't promise immediate results, as I have been super busy and now have a big design job to start on, but change is coming.

Really all I can report now is a large number of trips up and down the stairs, and hours upon hours of standing hovered over heads that have left me sore from head to toe. (literally) Oh and I have also learned that stress makes me bloat like crazy and makes my tummy just plain hurt. So, yeah, that's been sucktastic as well.

Oh, and I miss my craft room. We had it almost finished when this "epidemic" hit. Please join me in the future for more posts that are way more interesting than this one, or the one before it, and the one...ok, you get the idea. Smile! (it really does make you feel better) :o)

So tired

I went for a walk with my sister this morning, then it was back to grossville decontaminating the house. I'm so tired. Tired of the bugs, tired of the laundry, tired of the stinky spray, tired of feeling sick because I'm completely grossed out 24/7. I wish I could snap my fingers and be done with it all.

But hey, at least I got a walk in today... and lots of trips up and down the stairs doing laundry.

Life can be exhausting

I'm pretty tired, yet I can't sleep. HA! My sister and I painted and organized our craft room last week. I got pretty sore  from going up and down the step ladder and bending down to get paint. Sounds silly, I know, but what is even more silly is the fairly large bruise I have on my right leg. I hit it on the frame of a door while stepping over a box in the hallway. (strategically placed to keep  Jax from getting his fingers in the wet paint.)
I hit the corner exactly on a vein, so now I have a massive bruise that doesn't even hurt.

I've been super slack on the workouts, no excuses either, I've just been slackin'.

Lately, (the last 2 days) I've been battling some critters my daughter brought home from a friends house. Two days and I'm still not done making sure the house is clear of the little buggers. The girls craptastic parents didn't feel the need to inform us their kid had lice...2 days after she spent the night here...3 days after my kid spent the night at their house. So now both my kids have it, and the rest of us are freaking out and cleaning everything we can get our hands on...and spraying everything else. It's a nightmare I wouldn't wish on my worst enemy. Completely sucktastic...that's what it is, sucktastic.
EVERYTHING in my life has been put on hold for the sterilization of the epidemic some little punk brought upon us. I hate this.

Here's to hoping we wipe this crap out in the next couple days. Sheesh, this is awful!

It's been a good day

Hello world, I woke up with a headache and it still turned out to be a good day. How is that possible you say? Well, because I went back to sleep after I made Jason's lunch this morning. I woke up feeling much better, and then I got productive. :o)

Yesterday was a play in the pool for exercise day. I was beginning to think this "pool exercise" thing wasn't really doing me any favors, but I am still seeing progress so I'm thinking it must be working. I've also noticed (just last night, actually) that my legs have been getting more tone without me even knowing. Sneaky sneaky legs. I'm excited about this, because I would like to wear shorts without being self conscious about it.

Today all I've managed are a lot of trips up and down the stairs and hallway, because I've been elbow deep in a cool project today. I'm hoping to finish it tomorrow, and maybe even finish another one as well.

Today is Monday...right?

Summer vacation... a thing to look forward to, or a thing to make you lose track of your mind. It's nice not having to get up and drive first thing in the morning, but it's been bad for my ability to keep track of time and days. Obviously I've done various activities that count as exercise, but I keep forgetting to post about it, because I've running until I'm exhausted since school got out. More free time means me filling it with a bunch of stuff and losing any sense of anything. So due to my slack posting, I'm not going to try to remember what I've done since the 17th (my last post), cuz lets face it... there's no way I'm going to remember it all. So instead, I'd like to just start from yesterday. It was rather eventful, and totally worth posting about.

Yesterday I started with breakfast with my sister. Then we walked to the store for a news paper... they didn't have one, so we walked to the next closest store. That was about a 30 minute walk. We were home for a little while, and decided we really really needed to mow the yard, so we did. After that we moved on to the most logical place... the pool. We played and goofed off for about an hour or so in the pool, then went in to get some rest and get dinner made. The rest of the evening was tired, so there you have it.

Hey Everybody!

Your favorite super slacker hasn't been slacking as much as you may have thought....then again, I have no idea what you thought. hehe

I keep forgetting to post. My life has gotten busy the last couple months, and now that school is out I want to work on getting my posts up more regularly.

I have been getting exercise in here and there. Playing in the pool (using it as workout equipment and tricking the kids into thinking it's a game. hehe), washing the outside of my parents house and helping them paint it, walking...sometimes a little, sometimes a lot. You get the idea. I have to get back to getting the sweaty workouts in a few times a week too though.

On the food front, I have been adding in lots of yummy veggies and fruits (that I wasn't getting enough of before), and cutting out a lot of processed crap. My sister joined weight watchers a couple weeks ago. That has been helpful on the food front as well, because now we are both heading in the same direction in the kitchen...and we can keep each other in check.

I'm still trying to balance life. My work load has increased, which is a good thing, but the rest of life doesn't slow down so you can adjust. I don't have to pick up extra kids now that it's summer, and that has cut a great deal of stress out of my life. So I'm still juggling and balancing, and starting to sound like a bit of a clown here, but all the changes that have come lately have been good ones. (even when they seemed like bad ones at the start)

Sometimes you get what you ask for

I seem to remember posting about wanting to step out of my stillness and into the energy of the world around me... well, the universe was listening. My life has picked up like a swift breeze on a fall day. I have several design jobs that I am working hard at making progress on, I have plenty of personal projects that have been thrown on the back burner until I clear out some of these design jobs, my personal life has become demanding...so many things to do and people to see. I have to juggle this just right right now, or it's all going to fall apart.

We got the pool up and running, so that has been my favorite place to get in some exercise. It's so easy to get a full body workout in there...and it's fun too! Today I was helping mom and dad prep the outside of their house for painting. I was surprised at how much dirt we washed off. The heat almost did me in though. I was so weak when I came down off the ladder, and I was working hard at staying hydrated too. I probably sweat out as much water as I put in.

Who's awake? not me

It has been a busy weekend, but I survived it. We got the pool set up Saturday, it's still cold...but I'm working on getting it warmer. Today's temp. int he 90's should help. I didn't actually get in it until yesterday. (Monday) I spent a few hours playing around in it with the kids and my sister, and I think it's safe to say that it counts as exercise. My legs and butt are sore today...might have something to do with the handstands we were attempting. (I actually did it too!) I haven't goofed off like that since I was a kid. Good times.
Oh, and after we all got out of the pool, and changed into dry clothes, I got the grill going and cooked some steak and baked potatoes. We also had salad and corn. it was sooo good! So that's about it for my weekend.

I am so tired right now. I did not get enough sleep.

What a day

Yesterday was a very up and down kind of day. It started out happy with a mushroom and cheese omelet. Then someone totally disrespected me, someone I wasn't expecting it from, and I was angry and had hurt feelings. So I moved on to my craft room to start a new project, and hopefully bring myself out of the funk I had been forced into. Then my husband called to see how I was, and the tears began to fall like a steady summer rain. Then I got a little giggle out of the weather... it seemed to be reflecting my mood, thunder and then when I cried the rain started. That's when I felt compelled to respond to the harshness of my "friend" from earlier in the morning. I was very cold, but it fit the situation perfectly...I don't feel very good about this.

That's when my daily routine picked up and I didn't have time to really dwell on how harsh I had been in return. AND THEN, I was on my way to pick my husband up at work so we could head to the concert we had tickets for. I turned on a fun and upbeat play list in the car, and my mood went back up. I love how music can do this. I finished off my night by dancing for 3 hours at the concert.

So there you have it, my day...all roller coaster like. I even got some exercise in. Let's hope today is for less bumpy, not sure I can handle that two days in a row.

slow going

I just have no energy lately. I don't know why either.  I've even been taking my vitamins. I know, I know, exercise gives you energy. I got in a teeny weeny bit of walking today, but that's it. I was in a crafty mood, and felt inspired, so I finished a project that had been feeling neglected for a while. Turned out pretty good if I do say so myself...and I do. :o)

You may notice the ad stuff on the side... I caved and added it. I figured "hey, if I'm going to be doing this anyway, why not get a tiny bit of cash out of it." You never can tell, one day it cold actually pay for a meal. lol

Ugg, so here I am... promising you all...... that I will get off my butt and ACTUALLY get some exercise in tomorrow. I'm too important to put myself off any longer.

My apologies...

I haven't intentionally abandoned my rebellion, but life sent me on a side track lately. All I can really report to you right now is that I have been trying my best to make half my plate veggies, keep portion sizes under control, and not let cravings derail me. I don't ignore the cravings, just a tiny bit is enough to make me feel satisfied, but not enough to knock me off track.

I miss the exercise. I've been slowly changing the time I wake up, so that I can get my workouts in before I start my day. It seems to be the best time for me to actually get it done, and then I'm free to work on important projects and jobs the rest of the day. (in between all the mommy and house stuff I have to do)

I did take a much needed trip on my own this past weekend. I've never actually gone anywhere by myself (aside from the store) before. I've gone on trips with my parents, with my husband, with my kids and dog, but not by myself. It was nice to have all that time inside my own head while I drove. I had a great visit with one of my best friends/chosen sister. It had been far too long and I think we both really needed it. That in itself was helpful to my rebellion. I think something inside me changed just a bit from the whole experience. That's a good thing... just in case you were wondering.

So lets get back to this rebellion and being more productive in all areas of my life.

here we go again...

I was just getting used to my newly changed schedule, thinking I might be organized enough to fit in everything I need to do with a couple less hours available to me each week day, and now my lungs hurt.

I was feeling so optimistic this morning, I had energy and I was getting things done. Never mind that my back hurt in an all to familiar way yesterday, resembling something close to the way it hurt when I had bronchitis and pneumonia. I was feeling rather chipper today in spite of my allergies. I worked on a logo, I set up a sign template, I got a shower, I even went grocery shopping. Half way through putting the groceries away, I got dizzy and had to sit down. When I finished I sat at the table and chatted with my mom. (she stopped by after she got off work) And that, my friends, is when my lungs really began to ache. Not just in my back this time, this time they were aching all over. Each breath made me aware of how crappy I felt. Apparently the tree pollen has been pretty high lately. I've been congested the last few days, and my throat has been itchy, but this is just too much.

I don't think I have to tell you that I've been taking it easy and plan to keep with that until I can breathe good again. I can still handle yoga and some light but effective exercises, just not the ones that make me breathe hard. I am using all my asthma arsenal to fight this mess, but if I have to I will get to the doctor before it turns into something real bad. Have I mentioned how I hate being allergic to nature...it totally sucks, because I love having the windows open and being outside.

I don't have a title

I've been having a fairly craptastic couple of days, nothing I'm going to whine about on here, just craptasticness that has left me in a bit of a funk.

I've been at the same place on the scales for two months now. It's my own fault. Instead of stepping up the workouts, I'm actually doing less now. I have been doing better at eating healthier and using correct portion sizes, but that doesn't make up for the slack on the workout end. My life is getting busier, which is sort of good, but I have to rework my time to fit in exercise and design time..... I have to make myself a routine schedule. I love being able to do things according to my mood, but that clearly isn't working for me. Life has just gotten a bit crazy and I need to find some order in my chaos.

I'm going to do my best to wake up in a far better mood than I've been in the last couple days, I hate feeling like this.